Archive for October, 2004

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How would iggy change a light bulb

October 24, 2004

This is how iggy would change a light bulb.

iggy would pull up a chair and ponder the darkness…he would then question if there is only one way to change a light bulb…he would ask which is more important the changer of the changed…and also ponder if one really can change a light bulb if it does not want to be changed…he would then wonder if he should change it….if he is his own ability can not change himself, how could he change anything else? ..but with God all things are possible and if God wills to change the bulb, iggy decides it would be cool to be part of letting the bulb see the light. But, again, is it better for the light bulb to really want to change and seek to be changed on it’s own, will it then with the struggle really understand it’s own changing? iggy will go to discussion groups and argue and fight for the different views he has pondered and fight for the views that are valid Christian views about changing bulbs…he would bristle over some very conservative views he see’s ridged and question why they thought only their view was valid. iggy would then get discouraged and go back to the burned out bulb…complain a bit that God has given him a certain calling of changing the bulbs….he makes phone calls and organizes a gorilla soup kitchen for latter in the summer. iggy then gets a chair stands on it and reaches out hoping the bulb will just be not twisted in all the way and will come on. iggy pulls out the old bulb….then exchanges it for a new bulb…iggy marvels over how the light shines. iggy thinks the light is good…..and basks in it’s glow. iggy cries as he thinks of other bulbs that need changed and that no one will do it….then iggy goes into another room and sees another burned out bulb….he begins the process all over….but now wonders is it the process of changing the bulb…or the changing of the bulb and which is more important…. he thinks on this as he looks at the darkness around him….wishing for the light in the other room, yet iggy looks forward to the new light God has shown.

Now it is your turn!
Blessed,
iggy

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h1

How would iggy change a light bulb

October 24, 2004

This is how iggy would change a light bulb.

iggy would pull up a chair and ponder the darkness…he would then question if there is only one way to change a light bulb…he would ask which is more important the changer of the changed…and also ponder if one really can change a light bulb if it does not want to be changed…he would then wonder if he should change it….if he is his own ability can not change himself, how could he change anything else? ..but with God all things are possible and if God wills to change the bulb, iggy decides it would be cool to be part of letting the bulb see the light. But, again, is it better for the light bulb to really want to change and seek to be changed on it’s own, will it then with the struggle really understand it’s own changing? iggy will go to discussion groups and argue and fight for the different views he has pondered and fight for the views that are valid Christian views about changing bulbs…he would bristle over some very conservative views he see’s ridged and question why they thought only their view was valid. iggy would then get discouraged and go back to the burned out bulb…complain a bit that God has given him a certain calling of changing the bulbs….he makes phone calls and organizes a gorilla soup kitchen for latter in the summer. iggy then gets a chair stands on it and reaches out hoping the bulb will just be not twisted in all the way and will come on. iggy pulls out the old bulb….then exchanges it for a new bulb…iggy marvels over how the light shines. iggy thinks the light is good…..and basks in it’s glow. iggy cries as he thinks of other bulbs that need changed and that no one will do it….then iggy goes into another room and sees another burned out bulb….he begins the process all over….but now wonders is it the process of changing the bulb…or the changing of the bulb and which is more important…. he thinks on this as he looks at the darkness around him….wishing for the light in the other room, yet iggy looks forward to the new light God has shown.

Now it is your turn!
Blessed,
iggy

h1

How many…..

October 24, 2004

This is an take out from Wordofmouthdiscussions on associate.com which I moderate. This was of course all in fun.

Ok.
We have been taking some of ourselves a little to serious lately..great discussions, yet I feel it is time for levity.
So how do you change a light bulb?
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterian: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.
Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptist: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide who
brings the potato salad.
Episcopalian: Three. One to call the electrician, one
to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better
the old bulb was.
Methodist: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely burned out, you are loved.
You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring
the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church guide on lighting policy.
Lutheran: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Church of Christ: They do not use light bulbs because
there is no evidence of their use in the New Testament.
Amish: What’s a light bulb?
(These two though not Christian are funny)
Mormon: Five. One man to change the bulb and four
wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarian: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of , or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to
write a poem or compose a modern dance about your bulb
for next Sunday’s service, during which we will explore a
number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of
which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Now the real question is how does a postmodern change a light bulb?
Blessings,
Iggy
The Following are the answers to the last question and an addition to the Baptist statements.
Postmodern contemplating changing the Lightbulb……
Has it been revealed that it needs to be changed?
How do you know its actually out?
Who has received the truth that its burned out…?
It is subjective and if I dont change it …am I being rebellious?
If I change it and its not out….I am being anti-bulbical?
In the postmodern emerging church movement enviroment ie. ginkworld we no longer utilize lightbulbs…..they are traditional and very cultural…. we no longer need them….as we …….
are shedding our OWN light on all who will take the TIME to listen to us OOZE…..
hehheh ehehehe
this is good stuff

Pastor HughesEast Mesa Baptist Church

Now the real question is how does a postmodern change a light bulb?<<
Since we are picking on everyone let me add this:
How many IFB Pastors does it take to change a light bulb?
None! What? Change? Never!
God BlessDr. David

Shalom Alechem…Barukh Hashem Y’shua! (Peace and Blessings in Jesus’ name!)

Answered by a IFB Pastor:
Been the same for nearly 2000 years! Why change?
David W

Answered by a Postmodernist:
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? how do postmonderns change a lightbulb? with great joy and in community – we love, accpet and embrace change 🙂 pax jok

A Calvinist Pastor wrote to this:
But then you debate on whether you know enough aboutthe originalculture of the lightbulb to understand it 🙂

Which brought out this rebuttal:
well, only if there was a modern in the group 🙂 wewould accept the fact that the buld was culturalybased – and we might seek to find a new way ofbringing light to the room :)paxjok

A Baptist added:
Baptist: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide who
brings the potato salad.
This will never get done, there’s no Fried Chicken for that Potato Salad!!

To which I added these thoughts:
They gather together and go to their sacred space to meditate on the sermon illustration of the burned out light bulb.
or
They enthusiastically gather to change the light bulb but are suspicious weather the light bulb needs to be change for it is man made and modern yet believe God is the true source of all Light.
or
The light bulb has a right to it’s own view and we should respect it. For if God deems it that the light bulb changes He will change it.
or
Soren Kerkagaard, as the suffering philosopher was challenged as he contemplated the shallowness of the condition to the religious establishment and being a tortured soul pondered if salvation was truly obtainable without understand suffering. So to burn your hand on a lighted bulb a was type of suffering to which one could attain a knowledge of the sufferings of Christ. Yet, to let the light burn would not be as spiritual as to suffer the darkness, as Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. To suffer the darkness we participate in the meaning of the suffering Christ whom which we wish to understand.
Blessings,
iggy

h1

How many…..

October 24, 2004

This is an take out from Wordofmouthdiscussions on associate.com which I moderate. This was of course all in fun.

Ok.
We have been taking some of ourselves a little to serious lately..great discussions, yet I feel it is time for levity.
So how do you change a light bulb?
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterian: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.
Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptist: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide who
brings the potato salad.
Episcopalian: Three. One to call the electrician, one
to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better
the old bulb was.
Methodist: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely burned out, you are loved.
You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring
the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church guide on lighting policy.
Lutheran: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Church of Christ: They do not use light bulbs because
there is no evidence of their use in the New Testament.
Amish: What’s a light bulb?
(These two though not Christian are funny)
Mormon: Five. One man to change the bulb and four
wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarian: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of , or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to
write a poem or compose a modern dance about your bulb
for next Sunday’s service, during which we will explore a
number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of
which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Now the real question is how does a postmodern change a light bulb?
Blessings,
Iggy
The Following are the answers to the last question and an addition to the Baptist statements.
Postmodern contemplating changing the Lightbulb……
Has it been revealed that it needs to be changed?
How do you know its actually out?
Who has received the truth that its burned out…?
It is subjective and if I dont change it …am I being rebellious?
If I change it and its not out….I am being anti-bulbical?
In the postmodern emerging church movement enviroment ie. ginkworld we no longer utilize lightbulbs…..they are traditional and very cultural…. we no longer need them….as we …….
are shedding our OWN light on all who will take the TIME to listen to us OOZE…..
hehheh ehehehe
this is good stuff

Pastor HughesEast Mesa Baptist Church

Now the real question is how does a postmodern change a light bulb?<<
Since we are picking on everyone let me add this:
How many IFB Pastors does it take to change a light bulb?
None! What? Change? Never!
God BlessDr. David

Shalom Alechem…Barukh Hashem Y’shua! (Peace and Blessings in Jesus’ name!)

Answered by a IFB Pastor:
Been the same for nearly 2000 years! Why change?
David W

Answered by a Postmodernist:
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? how do postmonderns change a lightbulb? with great joy and in community – we love, accpet and embrace change 🙂 pax jok

A Calvinist Pastor wrote to this:
But then you debate on whether you know enough aboutthe originalculture of the lightbulb to understand it 🙂

Which brought out this rebuttal:
well, only if there was a modern in the group 🙂 wewould accept the fact that the buld was culturalybased – and we might seek to find a new way ofbringing light to the room :)paxjok

A Baptist added:
Baptist: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide who
brings the potato salad.
This will never get done, there’s no Fried Chicken for that Potato Salad!!

To which I added these thoughts:
They gather together and go to their sacred space to meditate on the sermon illustration of the burned out light bulb.
or
They enthusiastically gather to change the light bulb but are suspicious weather the light bulb needs to be change for it is man made and modern yet believe God is the true source of all Light.
or
The light bulb has a right to it’s own view and we should respect it. For if God deems it that the light bulb changes He will change it.
or
Soren Kerkagaard, as the suffering philosopher was challenged as he contemplated the shallowness of the condition to the religious establishment and being a tortured soul pondered if salvation was truly obtainable without understand suffering. So to burn your hand on a lighted bulb a was type of suffering to which one could attain a knowledge of the sufferings of Christ. Yet, to let the light burn would not be as spiritual as to suffer the darkness, as Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. To suffer the darkness we participate in the meaning of the suffering Christ whom which we wish to understand.
Blessings,
iggy

h1

Some people on these Postmodern forums are so freakin’ smart

October 7, 2004

Some people on these Postmodern forums are so freakin’ smart I have to get smarter to even understand what you are saying…hahahahahahaI see it this way. I have friends who see me as a liberal…. I don’t see myself that way at all, yet they think even to dialog with a liberal makes you one. I am very conservative politically…maybe mostly out of laziness…or frustration over the political scene as a whole. Yet, as I am on more pomo discussion groups I am as conservative as they come to some here as my friend jok once said…”you are a modern”…and “you don’t’ get it”.maybe I don’t… in essence that is the core of my frustration with moderns and even some who claim pomo as their hill of glory.I see so many “Christians” just settle for what ever view is taught them, often without being told there are other views out there as valid. I have seen when these other views are taught they are vilified and taught as if they are apostasy….and that is just “pre, mid, post, tribulations positions”, I was told I was not saved because I was “LOOKING” into the mid trib position. I see, to not allow one to question, limits the ability to test our faith and to grow in it…To me sin is sin…but often the focus is on the sin and we miss that the sinner is loved and redeemable though Jesus. I have found new freedom in my walk to not “be”. For one, as I talk to someone like the Muslim I talked to yesterday, when I do reach a friendship level, I will tell him I think all religion is the scourge of the earth an to be “religious” out side of taking care of the widows and orphans, is an act of self delusion…unless one has a relational aspect to not ones religion but to ones faith…iow to not delude our self with self piety by doing our religions but acting out ones faith in real tangible ways that witness to the Grace and Mercy of our living God.It is like the dead sea…it is dead because all things flow to it yet is refuses to give of itself so others may live…I want a river of living water as my faith…flowing, causing turbulence when needed, peacefully flowing at times and raging torrents that can catch one up in it… I choose to live.

Blessed,

iggy

h1

Some people on these Postmodern forums are so freakin’ smart

October 7, 2004

Some people on these Postmodern forums are so freakin’ smart I have to get smarter to even understand what you are saying…hahahahahahaI see it this way. I have friends who see me as a liberal…. I don’t see myself that way at all, yet they think even to dialog with a liberal makes you one. I am very conservative politically…maybe mostly out of laziness…or frustration over the political scene as a whole. Yet, as I am on more pomo discussion groups I am as conservative as they come to some here as my friend jok once said…”you are a modern”…and “you don’t’ get it”.maybe I don’t… in essence that is the core of my frustration with moderns and even some who claim pomo as their hill of glory.I see so many “Christians” just settle for what ever view is taught them, often without being told there are other views out there as valid. I have seen when these other views are taught they are vilified and taught as if they are apostasy….and that is just “pre, mid, post, tribulations positions”, I was told I was not saved because I was “LOOKING” into the mid trib position. I see, to not allow one to question, limits the ability to test our faith and to grow in it…To me sin is sin…but often the focus is on the sin and we miss that the sinner is loved and redeemable though Jesus. I have found new freedom in my walk to not “be”. For one, as I talk to someone like the Muslim I talked to yesterday, when I do reach a friendship level, I will tell him I think all religion is the scourge of the earth an to be “religious” out side of taking care of the widows and orphans, is an act of self delusion…unless one has a relational aspect to not ones religion but to ones faith…iow to not delude our self with self piety by doing our religions but acting out ones faith in real tangible ways that witness to the Grace and Mercy of our living God.It is like the dead sea…it is dead because all things flow to it yet is refuses to give of itself so others may live…I want a river of living water as my faith…flowing, causing turbulence when needed, peacefully flowing at times and raging torrents that can catch one up in it… I choose to live.

Blessed,

iggy

h1

Reasons that there may be something wrong with your Church

October 1, 2004

Reasons that there may be something wrong with your Church

It is not growing.

The people are not growing.

You have not seen a young person for years.

All you see is young people.

Your children do not want to go.

Your wife does not want to go.

You do not want to go.

You have no visitors.

You have visitors but they never return.

Your members bring visitors… but only from out of town.

Even the visitors from out of town do not return

You have alter calls and no one comes forward.

You have alter calls and the same people from last week come forward.

You think you have no sinners in your Church.

All people hear is you voice when they are around you.

Your sermons do not seem to move people.

You do not see that you are changing lives.

You have to ask for volunteers every week.

You have to beg for volunteers every week.

You make the congregation feel guilty for not volunteering.

You make the volunteers feel guilty if they miss a Sunday.

You make the volunteers feel guilty for wanting to quit.

You make the volunteers feel guilty for quitting.

You feel burned out.

Your prayer meeting is not well attended.

People do not seem moved by your teaching.

Your giving is not much.

The congregation’s giving is not much.

You do not call on missing members.

You call missing member every time they are gone.

There is too much “you” in you service and not enough Jesus.

Blessings,

iggy