Archive for the ‘Grace’ Category


Learning to love my neighbor

September 16, 2011

This is my leg
Many of you may be wondering where or what happened to me over the last few weeks. I admit, I wonder myself a bit. I am not even sure what I can share as it is still under investigation as to what did happen and who did what to me. 
What I can say is this. People ask me what I did to myself, and I answer, “I did nothing, someone else did this to me.” I go on and state that there was a party at a neighbor’s house that seemed to be getting a bit out of hand. I went over to see if everyone was safe and apparently they were, but I was not. I ended up punched in the face, at which I fell back hitting my head giving me a concussion. Then someone decided to stomp on my ankle, severely fracturing it. Then they went back to their party to discuss how they should get away, leaving me in my driveway to crawl on hands and knees down my sidewalk, up my stairs, and call my wife for help. 
The police seemed to arrive fast and found the party was gone. My daughter (Ciana) came up about the time the police arrived and looked at me, and then matter-a-fact way stated, “Mom, dad’s head is -bleeding and I am hungry.” Bless her non-traumatized heart. 
The police took pictures and the ambulance people agreed my ankle was broken, but we decided to not take the ride in the ambulance. They did help me to the Durango and TES took me to the emergency room.
Much of the time I was on morphine so would fade in and out. I was cleaned up fairly well as the nurses and medical staff pulled gravel from my foot, legs and head. Someone stated they believed they had gotten all the rocks from my head and I asked them to put some back as I had to have something in that empty place most people keep a brain.
Again, much is fuzzy as pain killers knocked me out at times. I needed surgery so they took my blood sugar, which of course was high, so they decided to wait until it went down. After around 16-18 hours, my blood sugar seemed to just want to run high although I had not eaten since I arrived at the hospital.
My blood sugar finally went down under 200 and they rushed me into the OR. You can see the pictures of the fine work they did on me as I will post some soon. The next day I was put in a boot and after the rehab people walked me around a bit I learned how to move about on crutches. In a way, I am recovering from surgery (had the staples removed today) and waiting to recover enough to have a cast put on.
The nursing staff was great; I had no complaints at all. The Dr. seems to be doing his job so no complaints there. The Dr. does seemed to be using my break to show how a normal break differs from a trauma break via stomping as I hear him say that something’s are not as straight forward as with a normal break. I for one am thankful there was not a gun or knife involved.
Please pray for me of course, but also pray for my neighbor, and his friends who assaulted me. I pray that God uses this for good in some way.  While I am not happy with the situation, these are young guys and one who was once a young guy, I know what stupid things they can do ( I did enough stupid things myself). Right now, all I am trying to do is love my neighbor under these crazy circumstances.
I have been home for the last few days. Mostly, I sleep and wait for the next time I can take my pain killers. The doctor seems to agree that I need them. I hope to become more present on Twitter, FB and G+ soon.

Thank you all for your prayers and love.


Pray for Japan

March 15, 2011

Here are my thoughts on the recent tragedy in Japan.


I’ve got to ramble on

October 14, 2010
So once again I am taking a few days/weeks between blog posts. I could say I don’t have much to say, however I seem to have tons on my mind. The issue is that I am having problems organizing thoughts to better able write them. Why? Not sure. Could be new job with upside down hours—yet that was happening before then. I am done with school for now, though I want to keep going. I am not sure about the hours of work and being able to adequately do quality work that school demands. So, I am working, sleeping, and trying to regain health, which btw seems to be coming back well, though I still do not have the stamina I hoped to by now. I have lost about 60+ lbs since my gastric bypass surgery so in that way I am very happy. Clothes that were tights now hang loosely on me. I tried on one shirt that actually was tight that now hangs down on the shoulders! finally finished The Shack… I know been a while since it was published. Personally I don’t see the big issue about it… unless one is so boxed into their theology they cannot understand a work of fiction! And I suppose that is what many have going on with them. I found it enchanting and a reflection of my own journey and conversations with God… I can understand those who use their theology to keep God at arms length would have much trouble sorting though the book, however I found many who have found rest and peace in the Grace of God embrace the book and understand what it is about. OK… I admit that this sounds a bit harsh… but sometimes I just want to toss out the truth for people as I see it.

Sometime I suppose I will write a review on it, but there are many out there… and the negative ones, really… don’t bother…. They are simply unable to release God to be God and seek to use their theology to put people who the book is freeing in bondage to religion. As I realized on my new job when a person called and asked me to fix his account and while I was doing so go angry with me and cursed me and then hung up… you can only help people as much as they let you… you or I cannot control anyone else. In fact if you do, then you are being God in their life and usurping God from doing His job… in fact you are trying to create that other person in YOUR image instead of letting the Holy Spirit transform them into the Image of Jesus… think about that for a while… if you disagree, the really, may God help you realize what you are doing.

For me, relationship is what faith in Christ is all about. If a relationship is based on anything but love, then there is no REAL relationship. If someone is bound to another by Law or doctrines or religion and it is all about rules, the it is not about relationship with the Creator, but about relationship with the Law, religion and rules. (Go back and read that a couple of times before you post a comment in anger.) I am now reading The Saving Life of Christ by Major Ian Thomas… strangely while I have listened to hours of the Major’s preaching, I have yet to finish one of his books. It is not that he is a bad writer, but that it seems whenever I do try to read one, another book is sent for me to read and write a review on. Saying that, expect a review on Jonathan Brinks’ new book (you can listen to the podcast here) Discovering the God Imagination.

If you want some great new music… try out Robert Plant’s Band of Joy album… some great surprises on that release… in fact been listening to it as I wrote this… it may become habit forming.

Well, as you can see this is sort of a rambling post… maybe after this one, I can get more focused…

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Book Publishers as part of a Book Review Blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Is the Tithe an act of worship or bringing on a curse of the Law?

July 6, 2010
Romans 12:1. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.
I look at it this way. God supplies my needs, and all I have is His. Out of all the blessings I have I give to others. No obligation other than the desire God put in me to give. I am “obeying the Law that is written on my heart” but not under any legal or covenant obligation.
I think much of the corruption in the church today is around the tithe as many pastors have burdened their church with this Law and then worry more about money than lifting up Jesus. We cannot serve God and Mammon…. Yet, many of our pastors are doing just that and wonder why they are struggling. Likewise, most often the idea of some blessing is obligated from God once one tithes… what does God owe any man?
So many are taught they are poor because they do not tithe, yet, they are poor because they are tithing and under the ministry of condemnation which is what the Law is about. (See 2 Corinthians 3: 8-10 for the contrast of the two ministries)



Happy Father Day… even for the fatherless…

June 18, 2010

Father’s Day is coming up fast and I have mixed emotions. While I am glad to be a father, my own father died when I was young. This seemed to set me apart from other friends at times. Being fatherless often left me empty, but especially at times when not having a father sort felt like it was being rubbing in my face. Father/son camp outs or any other events that were father/son made me feel unwelcome. Father’s Day though made me want to just hide.
Yet, now that I am a father, I find it wonderful at the same time. Not that I am being “honored” rather that I am honored everyday to have two wonderful children I love very much. My life has been truly changed and opened wider by Fischer and Ciana. While I may still struggle at trying to figure out how to be a father, I am thankful for the men who did guide me on my way. Without their guidance and prayer who knows where I would be now. Mostly, I am thankful for my Father in Heaven who promised to be my Father as he promises all who are fatherless. He is the Father of the fatherless. If you did not have a father, be it he died, left you abandoned, remember the One True Father who will never leave you or forsake you. This is true even if you have a father who was not emotionally there or even abusive. The One True Father loves you far greater than you can imagine.
The hardest thing all of us have to do is trust Him… and even in that He will help you.
With God, there is no fatherless day…

Two things I have learned that have helped my faith.

April 26, 2010

Two things I have learned that have helped me grow in my faith.
1. If you come to the end of your rope… grease that sucker and let go… it is there you will meet God as you are completely in His Hands.
2. Trusting God is like trying to float… the more you try to float, the more you sink… yet, as you relax and let the water support you, you begin to float. Once you depend on God to float you is when you truly trust God.
3. Bonus: God is God and you are not. You are His creation flaws and all. God is not surprised at your flaws… He is very aware at who you are. He is more aware of who you are that YOU are. God has not called you to be perfect… in fact the verse in Matthew 5:48 actually should not be “be perfect” but “be mature” or “be full of age”… God calls us to maturity not perfection. God is perfect and you are not… and once you accept that, you will mature in your faith. Jesus was the only proven perfect One. Be clothed in Christ and His perfection.
Matthew 5:48 (Amplified Bible)
48You, therefore, must be perfect [growing into complete maturity of godliness in mind and character, having reached the proper height of virtue and integrity], as your heavenly Father is perfect.



Taking a Stand….

April 26, 2010

I had a great time in conversation with Rob and Terry Witham. Actually I talked way too much… Yet, as we talked I tried to explain something I have been thinking about for a while. I sometimes do not want to have all the answers… or rather, in some cases, I don’t want to settle on an answer.
Now, the issues I am dealing with often are hot topics. I see that in the case of homosexuality or rather, gay Christians, I do not have an answer. Yes, I can argue both sides of the debate and probably convince others one way or the other, yet… I do not think that is that great of thing. I could just make it easier on myself and just settle on the typical evangelical view, yet in my mind that is not being honest to myself nor is it being honest with other… it would just be easier. I understand fully why many do not even try to untangle the mess this issue has become.
While I was talking to Rob and Terry I realized that if I settled on the issue, I would then start to judge others. If I settled that Gay if OK… then I would judge those who oppose that view as wrong. If I settled that Gay is wrong no matter what, then again, I would be judging those in the Gay community. I see judging others as wrong. (Don’t tell me how inconsistent I am in this… believe me I already know!) I realized (at least for now) that to not have an answer allows me to extend Grace to both sides. I am free to love others as people. While I confess it is harder for me to love those who judge me or even attack me, I do try to earnestly love them. (Again, I know how bad I am at that!) For the time being I am satisfied that I do not know the answer… I used to have the need to know the answer and still do most the time, yet… to have an answer, seems to make this issue harder… and makes me less able to respond to the leadings of Christ Jesus.
I know… some of you will accuse me of not taking a stand… but I have… For now I stand on Love and the Grace of God.